Shoutout Mommas

Right so I suppose you’re all thinking I’d make this strictly about my own mom. But no, this goes out to the multiple mother figures that have helped me progress as much in this life as my own mom did. The first example of this is my seventh grade teacher Ms. Roscoe. This lady was the coach of the Hasbrouck heights girls basketball team at the time and would always give class pep talks at the start of each marking period talking about a “clean slate” or “chance to improve” and all that sport cliché jazz but she was the first cool young teacher I had and also the Swiftie I ever met. Anyway at one point during that school year I came close to making the honor roll which is something I hadn’t done in elementary school(Only third grade and up counted). At parent-teacher night while she was discussing grades with my mother she was mentioning my hard work then mid sentence looked over at me and said “he will make honor roll next marking period. I believe that”. Her conviction was something I hadn’t experienced in that regard throughout elementary school. Like they’d say “he’s a smart kid but he needs to study more” or “he’s got more potential than he shows” which were true btw but Ms. Roscoe put her name on it. That was almost like a challenge. I fell short again and didn’t’ get the honor roll but just that statement she made still sticks out to me all these years later. Cool thing is I would have her for social studies in eight grade so she was still part of my academics through the end of elementary school. As I’ve mentioned previously there is a lot of parallel between sophomore year and seventh grade. Sophomore year I had Ms. Bania for English II and she was the second cool  relatively young teacher I had. She never yelled nor did she need to because our class respected the hell out of her. She was funny and kind and I always looked forward to being in her class. She empowered us to be ourselves in that class which was new for me at the time. I felt 100% comfortable to be myself in that class. She was mostly responsible for be believing that it was okay for me to be my weird quirky self. She could’ve easily responded to my stick figure drawings with a “well you tried” which is what I was expecting but she said it was great and unique and encouraged me to keep doing them. The next mother figure comes a few years later when I was working at Stop and Shop in 2016. There was an older Asian lady who went by the name Sandy. She was the matriarch of our little ragtag group. I remember during one of my first few weeks working there I was asked what I thought about Sandy and I innocently said “she seems like a sweet old lady” which everyone including Sandy burst out laughing. Fast forward a few months and I came to realize how silly that was. Sandy was awesome but she was by no means sweet(in the general sense) or old(at heart anyway). On nights when we would be expected to have a big load, typically the holidays, she would bring candy bars so we could keep our energy up throughout the night. She would look out for me and on more than one occasion she would offer to go to management on my behalf if I wasn’t happy with something. She went from being a sweet old lady to a “strong independent black woman who don’t need a man”. Restarting college can be tough. You don’t know a heck of a lot of people and it felt like I was closer in age to my professors than I was to some of my classmates. In this regard I would find myself chatting with my professors quite a bit. One of my professors who I looked up to was professor Elizabeth Victor. I had her for classes in three consecutive semester. I think her greatest advice to me was that it was all downhill after thirty and she could remember in her 20s she could go out and drink all night then teach the next day. It was a no go as soon as she turned thirty. Although she did say there is a quiet confidence one has in their thirties as opposed to their twenties. Even when I wasn’t her student I sought her advice about Masters programs as well as advice when I guest lectured the Korean class I was TA-ing for at my university during my last semester. “Don’t be afraid to say I don’t know” as well as “when in doubt call on the students who you know will give the right answer”. In fact she was partially the reason I reached out to be a TA in the first place. Needless to say I love and appreciate my own mother but I wanted to take this moment to shoutout all the work moms, school moms, mom of the friend groups because we can all be a momma to someone.