The Blackout

So as some of you remember I went on a road trip over the summer. One of the destinations on the trip was Nashville, Tennessee. This trip was supposed to be everything to me. It was with the girl I liked, and we were alone for an entire week. Might I add driving out west is super spooky. There’s more land than people in some of those parts. Anyway, there was so much riding on this trip that even before we left her driveway, I was feeling anxious as hell. It would only get worse as we were traversing through the states between Colorado and New Jersey. The anxiety of the “what if?” of our relationship as well as driving cross country in a rented car wasn’t good for my mental. It weighed a lot on me during the trip. I would try to relieve myself of this anxiety in multiple ways during the trip and one of these ways was taking an edible in Denver which ended up having the opposite effect than it was supposed to have. It made me go deeper into my own head when I was trying to forget I even have a head. This story isn’t about Denver, however. That is its own separate story. Either way the point being I was trying to find ways to escape while this trip was supposed to be an escape. This brings me to the infamous night in Nashville. Everything came to a head that night as it would be the first night on that trip we spent in a major city at night. Let me preface this moment by saying that Nashville was an awesome experience, and it is a great city. Downtown Nashville is lined with bars on each side. One could say I was a bit overwhelmed by all this and I really wanted to drink my anxiety away. It’s probably a good thing I got piss drunk because I was definitely a couple of shots away from buying a pair of $200 cowboy boots. Either way, Nashville was going to be the Magnum Opus of this trip. We ended up going to downtown Nashville and the hotel was only a ten-minute drive away. We would hit the streets and immediately I felt like a Mormon going to the city for the very first time. As soon as I saw all those bars and bachelorette parties, I knew I had to get a bit mixed up. The keyword here is “bit” as I didn’t plan to get as sauced as I did. The night started out with pic between us, and you’d never seen two more platonic not platonic people ever. Part of the stress of this trip was trying to make something(anything!) happen during the trip and especially this night. In a way, I wanted to prove to her again that I could be fun and spontaneous and that I wasn’t a complete lost cause. When we hit that first bar, I immediately requested a pickle back shot. To my surprise and disappointment, the bartender mentioned that they did not have any pickle juice. Well, I already ordered the second half of that drink so might as well just get the Jack Daniel’s without it. We ate and moved on to the next bar in which I definitely did not want to do another shot of Jack, so I just got my trusty ‘ol vodka. That’s when I started to really feel the Nashville nightlife. The next thing I remember is shakily recording live bands and stumbling/bumbling through the main street of Nashville. I remember walking into a rooftop bar with Val and enjoying the top-down view of the main street of Nashville. It was beautiful until I was getting up from a corner with some puke right next to me. I really wasn’t even sure if it was mine or not and honestly, I don’t even want to know at this point. This is where the story turns from a fun night out to soul-crushing. I was then escorted out of the bar stumbling and the next thing I remember is throwing up in the parking lot (and partially in the rental car) and then Val would end up driving me back to the hotel and cleaning up my near-lifeless body as well as the car. Major props to her by the way. The next morning, I woke up wondering where my clothes are as well as feeling like I had squandered my last chance to make this trip truly special. That same morning, I finally told Val how I was feeling and wanted to know where we were in our relationship. I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for but it did feel like a major burden off my shoulders. We at least ended the final day of the trip on a high note in Washington D.C. and so concluded what I consider to be simultaneously the best and worst experience to happen to me.